What does the future hold for Christian dating? Will we all use “apps” on our phones, or perhaps it will be incorporated into something like Youtube where you could view videos of prospective Christian dates. More and more Christians are meeting online via dating sites, so this trend is here to stay.
Talked with someone this week who met her husband online on a dating website. After moving in together they got married about a year later (by an attorney, with no premarital counseling). Now these Christians are having trouble and some major issues have surfaced.
Don’t be in a hurry to get married and don’t get married without thorough premarital counseling with a pastor!
The Bible says God hates divorce. There are several reasons why that is, most importantly because of the spiritual connection that takes place in marriage that cannot be broken by a legal contract of divorce. Last night, my wife and I were talking with a woman who is on her own with two kids, and she’s struggling to make it. Divorce causes of lots of problems, and the children often suffer the most. They are left without the security of having Mom and Dad in the same household and they can be left without the financial security provided by having Dad contribution. Divorce is a reality, and I understand that. But as a single Christian thinking about Christian dating, you need to be wise and discerning and don’t rush into a marriage too quickly.
“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.” — Song of Solomon 2L7
I just found out that a couple at our church met online at the Christian Cafe. In my opinion, Christian Cafe is best, most solidly Christian dating sites online. This couple is currently starting pre-marital counseling and it looks like another great match thanks to an online Christian dating site.
Christian dating online doesn’t always work. A friend of ours met a guy online and carried on a long distance relationship with him for a while. Then, the finally met in person. A couple of weeks later it was over. I’m glad she was able to discern that he wasn’t the right guy for her before it went further, saving them both more disappointment and heartache. Dating online has its advantages and disadvantages. You have to be careful and not to move too quickly, especially before you meet and spend time together in person. Make sure you take your time and REALLY get to know each other before you start talking about the future and taking the next step.
“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right.” (Song of Solomon 8:4)
The other day I heard about a Christian guy who married someone he met online within a few weeks and was divorced within a few weeks. Christians: Use your head! Don’t move too quickly and do something you’ll regret, whether it’s having sex before marriage or getting married too quickly. When dating, don’t disengage your brain! Just because you’re both Christians doesn’t mean you’re right for each other. There are so many other areas of compatibility that need to be discerned. When Christians date it should be different than when non-Christians date.
“And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus…” (Colossians 3:17)
Sometimes people ask me what I think about free Christian dating sites. Personally, I’m not in favor of them for several reasons. First of all, because they are free they are targeted by scammers and predators who pose as Christians to take advantage of people. The other reason I don’t like free Christian dating sites is that if I’m looking for my soulmate I think I should be willing to spend a little money to make sure I find the right one, don’t you? You get what you pay for, so if you’re not willing to pay a little to find the person you’re going to marry don’t be surprised if you’re disappointed.
God’s design for Christian dating is to save sex for marriage. This is a big problem, because when two people are attracted to each other desires start to arise that can be difficult to resist. Christ-followers (Christians) are supposed to live differently than the rest of the world, and dating is no different. Don’t let your desires cause you to sin by giving into the temptation to do things that should be reserved for when you’re married. Stay strong.
Then the lust, when it has conceived, bears sin; and the sin, when it is full grown, brings forth death. (James 1:15)
It just dawned on me that part of the reason so many “Christian” dating sites are anything but Christian is because the definition of “Christian” has been so diluted that it no longer means anything. In the New Testament, Christians were followers of Christ, but today most people in the United States identify themselves as Christian, even though most of them make no effort to follow Christ and live in a way that reflects his teaching and his example. I think I’m on to something here. More on this later. In the meantime, here is a site where the owner really is a Christ-follower and most of the people who use the site are too. It’s Christian Cafe, and I think it’s one of the best Christian dating sites on the web.
More Christian dating websites are popping up every day. Unfortunately, many of them are not Christian at all. Many of them are secular sites repackaging themselves as Christian, which means the members are not Christian and that isn’t a priority for them. Other Christian websites are owned by secular sits that also operate gay and lesbian sites, pornography sites and other sites that go against Christian principles. Christian beware: Not all dating sites are what they seem. For advice at legitimate Christian dating sites, go here: christian dating sites.